Uncle Grayhawk's Front Porch

End of the Line - Traveling Wilburys

Well it's all right, riding around in the breeze
Well it's all right, if you live the life you please
Well it's all right, doing the best you can
Well it's all right, as long as you lend a hand

You can sit around and wait for the phone to ring
Waiting for someone to tell you everything
Sit around and wonder what tomorrow will bring
Maybe a diamond ring

Well it's all right, even if they say you're wrong
Well it's all right, sometimes you gotta be strong
Well it's all right, As long as you got somewhere to lay
Well it's all right, everyday is Judgement Day

Maybe somewhere down the road aways
You'll think of me, wonder where I am these days
Maybe somewhere down the road when somebody plays
Purple haze

Well it's all right, even when push comes to shove
Well it's all right, if you got someone to love
Well it's all right, everything'll work out fine
Well it's all right, we're going to the end of the line

Don't have to be ashamed of the car I drive
I'm glad to be here, happy to be alive
It don't matter if you're by my side
I'm satisfied

Well it's all right, even if you're old and grey
Well it's all right, you still got something to say
Well it's all right, remember to live and let live
Well it's all right, the best you can do is forgive

Well it's all right, riding around in the breeze
Well it's all right, if you live the life you please
Well it's all right, even if the sun don't shine
Well it's all right, we're going to the end of the line

I'm hesitant to write this entry. Not so much because I'm ashamed or embarrassed by anything I'm about to write, but rather I feel I'm going to sound disingenuous or that I'm looking for validation or compliments. I'm not. Well, read on to understand...

So it's no surprise to my readers that I play World of Warcraft. Many of you reading do. The only thing that stinks about the whole thing is that y'all are spread out over so many servers, that I could never hope to keep up with y'all. Well, that's ok, I guess. It's the price I have to pay for the popularity of the game, I suppose.

Anyway, my primary character there is Franush, a L60 Dwarf paladin. I have two or three others there, but he's my main. Most of my chars belong to a guild called The Darklords. The guild has grown pretty well in the last few months - over 250 members. It's a good bunch of people, willing to help out and so forth. I help where I can & talk some in chat, mostly trying to be silly and/or a wiseass.

I know, hard to believe.

Anyway, I wasn't on for nearly two weeks around TCEP. Go figure. When I came back, the head officer/owner of the guild hits me up in private chat. Says that the other officers have been talking and that when a new officer slot opens up, they want to offer it to me.

Huh?

A bit flabbergasted, I tell him that I'm not sure what I did to earn this honor, but if offered, I will accept. He tells me that it's a combination of length of time in the guild and my willingness to help. Two days later, it's official. I am now the newest officer of The Darklords.

This happens to me more often than I care to admit, and every time it happens, I am genuinely taken aback and surprised by it. A few years ago, when I was involved in an online game called CarnageBlender, I was just as taken aback when, after a few months, I was tagged to become a chat moderator. I learned later that had I stayed around much longer than I did, I would have been made a officer there as well. At Origins, when there was a unanimous vote to have me be the liason for Origins 2008, I was again taken aback.

You see what I mean that it sounds like I'm looking for attention?

The thing is, it always surprises me when this happens. And I rarely, if ever, understand why it happens. I don't feel I did anything exceptional or noteworthy. I was just...being me. I don't see it.

I know I have a hard time seeing the positive qualities I might bring to the table. I know my self-esteem isn't, perhaps, all it should be. I was reminded not so long ago of a line by Julia Roberts' character in Pretty Woman that "People put you down enough, you start to believe it...the bad stuff is easier to believe." I don't know if that's the case in my life, but I'm sure it hasn't helped.

In any case, even if I don't see something, others do. I just wish it would stop surprising me so much. No, that's not true. I wish I could believe it. In me.

Maybe I should take the advice I've given others and not only listen, but take to heart the timeless words of those wisest philosophers of the late 20th century, The Muppets
( Lyrics behind cut for length )
Peas. Out.