For the last two weeks, I have been getting daily spam from FTD.com and their ilk.

I've had 3 from FTD since 8 am.

I'm not saying that I would perpetrate a DDOS attack on their servers, nor do I condone such actions. But I do admit I would giggle like a giddy schoolgirl if I read about such a thing.

And now, a message to the floral merchants clogging my inbox:

Dear Flower fuckers:

I am aware of what tomorrow is. So is the rest of the world.

Please be advised that
  • Some people already have things taken care of, and therefore don't need your spam
  • Some people don't need/want to have tomorrow shoved in their faces due to the pain it may cause, and don't need your spam.
  • The rest of them don't care, and don't need your spam.

See a pattern?

Now, stop the spam before I order your largest, thorniest setting in the largest vase possible and shove that botanical nightmare so far up your ass, you'll have blooms coming out of your ears and nose.

FOADIAF

No Love,

Me.

Profile

Frank N. Huminski

February 2014

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